I was envious of my old self, because I can articulate my feelings in a way that my new self can understand. Yeah I know, this post is kinda blurry.
I just want to type words in my keyboard.. To eliminate the pity feelings I have with myself. Honestly, my confidence is crumbling down.
"One-of-those-days". Yeah it is. But this is different. Hating the fact that I'm letting myself grow unto this kind of thinking that I'm not good enough. Mainly, because, I'm not happy enough with my career life right now. One of my mentors said, "spread your wings, lynnette".. It can be an inspiration, but I'm too scared to fall.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Sunday, September 5, 2010
My life in dashes. :)
oh, it's "ber" month already. I already smell sweet cold holiday air and sumptuous food to satisfy my famish.
anyway, i haven't updated my blog for ages. (busy or just lazy?). I've been hypnotized by tumblr. I envy those people who can write their thoughts effortlessly while I'm stuck with the blinking cursor. winking at me, endlessly.
moreover, i just had my new camera. Canon Ixus. (Can't afford DSLR, yet)
and i took pictures like crazyyyy. :)
well, i admit, i am not that pro in taking pictures.
but I'm extremely good in capturing memories. in my heart.
(now, that's cheezy.)
anyway, i haven't updated my blog for ages. (busy or just lazy?). I've been hypnotized by tumblr. I envy those people who can write their thoughts effortlessly while I'm stuck with the blinking cursor. winking at me, endlessly.
moreover, i just had my new camera. Canon Ixus. (Can't afford DSLR, yet)
and i took pictures like crazyyyy. :)
well, i admit, i am not that pro in taking pictures.
but I'm extremely good in capturing memories. in my heart.
(now, that's cheezy.)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Somewhere over the teacher's table
As a kid, I dreamt of being a journalist, to scribble my thoughts and to take the pleasure out of writing. My soul needs pen and paper to conquer the world. But it didn’t materialize. Sooner, when I was a sophomore, Fictitiously, I imagined myself being a NUN. Oh yes. Believe it. I was heartbroken. And the only resort I have is convent and rosaries. Nonetheless, you have to serve God wholeheartedly. Not just because you're being dumped by a useless guy.
Come over, College. I took up I.T(Information Technology). Fascinated with the wonders of bits and processors. I survived. But something's missing. I don't know. I just feel empty.
After 3 jobs I don't really like. Data Operator. Supervisor. Web Article Editor.
I end up being a TEACHER.
Of all the jobs that I ever imagined. Teaching isn't included.
But life is pretty weird sitcom. (Which I don't find it funny at all.) I accepted the fact that I am now an EDUCATOR.
Oh gosh. It gives me shiver.
Teaching? Like a roller-coaster. I have this ups and downs. It's a love-hate relationship. You have to be selfless in this kind of job. Amidst of colds, coughs and laziness, you have to think of your student's welfare. You are working 24/7. You need to see their progress. And not just like a 8-5 session teacher.
You're the shock absorber.
You're the confidante.
You're the crying shoulder.
You're the surrogate parent.
It's the most unrecognized job. Underrated. Unappreciated.
But with these responsibilities. Those hard work.
It's Priceless.
There's no Einstein nor Plato nor Confucius without a Teacher.
top that!
Come over, College. I took up I.T(Information Technology). Fascinated with the wonders of bits and processors. I survived. But something's missing. I don't know. I just feel empty.
After 3 jobs I don't really like. Data Operator. Supervisor. Web Article Editor.
I end up being a TEACHER.
Of all the jobs that I ever imagined. Teaching isn't included.
But life is pretty weird sitcom. (Which I don't find it funny at all.) I accepted the fact that I am now an EDUCATOR.
Oh gosh. It gives me shiver.
Teaching? Like a roller-coaster. I have this ups and downs. It's a love-hate relationship. You have to be selfless in this kind of job. Amidst of colds, coughs and laziness, you have to think of your student's welfare. You are working 24/7. You need to see their progress. And not just like a 8-5 session teacher.
You're the shock absorber.
You're the confidante.
You're the crying shoulder.
You're the surrogate parent.
It's the most unrecognized job. Underrated. Unappreciated.
But with these responsibilities. Those hard work.
It's Priceless.
There's no Einstein nor Plato nor Confucius without a Teacher.
top that!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Day 2- Letter for your Crush
Dear Crush,
Nako. dapat hindi na crush kasi boyfriend na kita. haha :)) pero dahil ikaw pa rin ang crush ko kahit "tayo" na.. Lagi mo kasi akong pinapakilig at pinapasaya na parang first time lang kitang nakita at makasama. at kahit na 60 years old na tayo, You will always be my BIGGEST CRUSH! :D
love,
your forever admirer
Nako. dapat hindi na crush kasi boyfriend na kita. haha :)) pero dahil ikaw pa rin ang crush ko kahit "tayo" na.. Lagi mo kasi akong pinapakilig at pinapasaya na parang first time lang kitang nakita at makasama. at kahit na 60 years old na tayo, You will always be my BIGGEST CRUSH! :D
love,
your forever admirer
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Day 1 - Letter for your Bestfriend
Dear Joyce Lyn,
You were always annoyed when i call you "bebe" and when i endlessly tickle your tummy. You always hate it. but you keep on laughing hard. :) Sometimes we fight a lot. over shallow reasons like food and take-turns on the computer table. but we do have marvelous memories particularly on books, sleeping on the same bed with your feet on my face, sight-seeing, bear hugs and infinite teases.
You are the best sister i never had. We have this 10-year age gap,I'm 23, you're 13. but you have a mind, more mature than a 20-year-old woman. You are unbelievably smart. We can talk about anything. and i always felt bad, when someone at your school, insecurely bullies you. but you are a fighter. You stand up for what's right. :)
I remember when you were 9, you told me that when you grow up, you want to be "me".. because you love the way i am. the simple "ate".. I was touched to the point that i can always relive that moment.
We're together for 12 years. the day you were born, and up to the day that you were busy fixing your things because you will now have a new slate with your parents in Laguna.. You know what, i cried for days. I dread the idea of not having a little sister at home. The one who amuses me with her witty ideas and quotable quotes. The one i am sharing my music and books with. The one who become my blood sister. Although we're just cousins, i know, we are connected. We are connected by love. Love of a sister.
This letter is supposed to be for a bestfriend, but after sorting the ideas and memories i had with my lovely friends, I'm strucked by the idea to chose you. Because you've been with me always. sharing the happiness and even the loneliest times with each other.
Jojoy, we may not see each other always. I can get to see you for only holidays, but remember, that i am missing you always.. and ate loves you so much.. You will always be my little baby. :) I LOVE YOU! :D
You were always annoyed when i call you "bebe" and when i endlessly tickle your tummy. You always hate it. but you keep on laughing hard. :) Sometimes we fight a lot. over shallow reasons like food and take-turns on the computer table. but we do have marvelous memories particularly on books, sleeping on the same bed with your feet on my face, sight-seeing, bear hugs and infinite teases.
You are the best sister i never had. We have this 10-year age gap,I'm 23, you're 13. but you have a mind, more mature than a 20-year-old woman. You are unbelievably smart. We can talk about anything. and i always felt bad, when someone at your school, insecurely bullies you. but you are a fighter. You stand up for what's right. :)
I remember when you were 9, you told me that when you grow up, you want to be "me".. because you love the way i am. the simple "ate".. I was touched to the point that i can always relive that moment.
We're together for 12 years. the day you were born, and up to the day that you were busy fixing your things because you will now have a new slate with your parents in Laguna.. You know what, i cried for days. I dread the idea of not having a little sister at home. The one who amuses me with her witty ideas and quotable quotes. The one i am sharing my music and books with. The one who become my blood sister. Although we're just cousins, i know, we are connected. We are connected by love. Love of a sister.
This letter is supposed to be for a bestfriend, but after sorting the ideas and memories i had with my lovely friends, I'm strucked by the idea to chose you. Because you've been with me always. sharing the happiness and even the loneliest times with each other.
Jojoy, we may not see each other always. I can get to see you for only holidays, but remember, that i am missing you always.. and ate loves you so much.. You will always be my little baby. :) I LOVE YOU! :D
Someone
I need a man who makes me think of countless reasons and ways to let him stay in my arms, because when he's right here beside me, it's as if everything's okay. That nothing else matters but ME and HIM.
I need somebody who makes me miss him so much that I would hurriedly buy his perfume and spray it on my fluffy pillows so when I go to bed at night, I can hug the pillow tight and wish that it was really him that I am hugging.
I need somebody who make my heart skip a beat, everytime he smiles at me. Who makes me feel secure and safe that I pour my heart on him, unburdening secrets that I've kept for a long time. And having him tell me that It's okay and that I can have a new slate, that I can leave everything behind in the past and contemplate on what lies ahead of us.
I need someone who makes me listen more to a mushy, oversentimental love songs on my iPod, Someone whom I pray for every night before I go to sleep and for even while I am sleeping, I still want to be with him.
Someone I can finally look straight in the eye, without the remorse and deceit, and tell him that I love him. And get this tinkling feeling inside that tells me it's factual.
And now. I have found my someone. I have found my all. And I've been wanting to say this for a long time and I think there's no better timing than now.. So here I am professing, asking you, my someone..
"Will you stay forever?"
:)
I need somebody who makes me miss him so much that I would hurriedly buy his perfume and spray it on my fluffy pillows so when I go to bed at night, I can hug the pillow tight and wish that it was really him that I am hugging.
I need somebody who make my heart skip a beat, everytime he smiles at me. Who makes me feel secure and safe that I pour my heart on him, unburdening secrets that I've kept for a long time. And having him tell me that It's okay and that I can have a new slate, that I can leave everything behind in the past and contemplate on what lies ahead of us.
I need someone who makes me listen more to a mushy, oversentimental love songs on my iPod, Someone whom I pray for every night before I go to sleep and for even while I am sleeping, I still want to be with him.
Someone I can finally look straight in the eye, without the remorse and deceit, and tell him that I love him. And get this tinkling feeling inside that tells me it's factual.
And now. I have found my someone. I have found my all. And I've been wanting to say this for a long time and I think there's no better timing than now.. So here I am professing, asking you, my someone..
"Will you stay forever?"
:)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
30 Letter in 30 Days :)
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Monday, June 21, 2010
hey, i'm sick and i hate it.
coarsed voice.
dry cough.
and some stupid headache.
i was bed-ridden for a day.
the day before the "flu attack":
One sunny day, I was enjoying my lecture for 8:00-9:00 a.m, appalled by the feedback of my students. they're quite good. They absorbed my "blah-blah-blah" lecture.. I thought, i'd be a superwoman for a day, but i was completely wrong. I am just a HUMAN. napapagod din. Then came my 3:00 - 4:00 p.m schedule. Fuck! I had a hard time breathing, and i just have to conceal it so that i can go on to my lecture.
after my 5:00 p.m class, It rained. I got wet. Voila!
FML!
hello, FLU!
~now, I'm in my room. trying to get rid off this sickness by writing. There's a lot of food here. but i think, I've lost my appetite. Damn!
Bakit kaya kung kelan ka nagkakasakit at hindi pwedeng kumain, saka naman inooferran ka ng masarap na pagkain?
but the good thing is:
i am able to rest. slacking for the nth level. (i miss vacation!).
and for tomorrow,
i will be on my 8-5 schedule again.
teaching.
and hopefully, i won't get sick. again.
dahil sabi ng clusivol.
Bawal Magkasakit.
dry cough.
and some stupid headache.
i was bed-ridden for a day.
the day before the "flu attack":
One sunny day, I was enjoying my lecture for 8:00-9:00 a.m, appalled by the feedback of my students. they're quite good. They absorbed my "blah-blah-blah" lecture.. I thought, i'd be a superwoman for a day, but i was completely wrong. I am just a HUMAN. napapagod din. Then came my 3:00 - 4:00 p.m schedule. Fuck! I had a hard time breathing, and i just have to conceal it so that i can go on to my lecture.
after my 5:00 p.m class, It rained. I got wet. Voila!
FML!
hello, FLU!
~now, I'm in my room. trying to get rid off this sickness by writing. There's a lot of food here. but i think, I've lost my appetite. Damn!
Bakit kaya kung kelan ka nagkakasakit at hindi pwedeng kumain, saka naman inooferran ka ng masarap na pagkain?
but the good thing is:
i am able to rest. slacking for the nth level. (i miss vacation!).
and for tomorrow,
i will be on my 8-5 schedule again.
teaching.
and hopefully, i won't get sick. again.
dahil sabi ng clusivol.
Bawal Magkasakit.
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